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50 dates in 50 states: Singles Magazine publisher dates America

8/20/10 02:21 pm Updated: 8/20/10 03:18 pm

By BDN Staff

BDN Staff

Marie Stuart Noel wasn’t without a few harried experiences during her whirlwind dating excursion throughout the U.S. during which she dated a man from each of the 50 states in just 40 days, but one of her more trying ordeals happened right here in Maine.

The publisher of Massachusetts’ Singles Magazine, Marie documented her experiences this summer with, as she refers to them on her blog: “the good, the bad and the ugly” men of America.” She would only have to get three dates into her 50-date odyssey before she’d hit more snags than fishing line tangled up in weeds.

Before Noel got to Portland, one of her prospective Maine dates already had canceled. As a late resort, she went online at OKCupid.com and Plentyoffish.com to look for another date. She explains in her blog post that she found six men who piqued her interest and scheduled dates with two of them. Date “A” had been texting her regularly, wondering when she was going to arrive because he couldn’t wait to see her. She arrived in Maine around 2 a.m. after a six-hour drive the night before her date day and woke up around 8 a.m. only to find that date “B” was canceling due to work.

At 9:30 a.m. on Thursday, July 8, date “A” texted Noel to say good morning. She called and they agreed to meet for coffee at noon. Two minutes later, he called back to say, “I can’t see you after all.” Understandably confused, Noel didn’t know what to make of it, but she went back online to see if any of the other four prospective dates were available. All were busy.

“I couldn't believe all the cancellation in one state,” Noel wrote. “I needed some therapy so I went shopping then called my dating coach, Karen.”

“Karen” is Karen A. Bayer, the founder and CEO of Next Stage Coaching LLC. Bayer specializes in dating, grief recovery, divorce and life coaching.

Determined not to leave Maine without at least one date, Noel traveled to the nearest Home Depot, where she exchanged numbers with a customer named Kenny.

“We talked for about 15 minutes and exchanged numbers. I took a picture in front of the ‘Contractor Pick-up’ sign because that's pretty much what I did,” she wrote in her blog. “I was not gonna drive all the way to Maine and not get a guy.”

Later on, she traveled to Old Orchard Beach for a laid-back evening exploring the area with a gentleman named Kim before moving on to date number four in Worcester, Mass.

You can find out more about Noel’s other 49 dating experiences online at mariedatesamerica.com.

Marie Stuart Noel, publisher of MSM, went on NECN to discuss the dating marathon she completed on August 13, 2010. Marie set out on a quest to date 50 men, from 50 states, in 50 dates which she completed in 40 days. Marie also attempted to raise $5,000 ($100 per state) for Save the Children. Read Marie's dating blog here. Watch and discuss her video.

In Boston, we were already friendlier to Mother Nature even before Al Gore decided to bring awareness about the state of the Earth. Why? We’ve been wearing green since Vince Villanueva decided to form the Boston Celtics. We have lost sleep watching them play. We celebrate with them in the 60’s, the Bird years. We even enjoyed shouting BEAT L.A. anytime we play against the purple team from the West Coast.

We were excited to support them through the 2010 Playoffs for a few reasons: (1) We are Boston Celtics fan, (2) no one thought they could make it past the Eastern Conference Semifinals; (3) We enjoy watching the evolution of No. 9 with the BIG THREE; (4) we do not recognize any other teams unless they are playing against this purple team from the West Coast.

This year’s Celtics Playoffs was a great time for the whole family to watch a team competes not only against the other team, but also the referees. Similar to the players, the referees are paid to call the game right down the middle as they were taught in referee school (unless they were pulling a Tim Donaghy on us.) The refereeing was so bad that a few hours before the Celtics’ Game 6 vs Orlando, someone flat out advised the Magic players to start packing their gold bags.

Onto the Finals where the basketball association is supposed to be displaying their best: Best Teams; Best Players; and Best Referees. Unfortunately, they fail to provide on the latter. Clearly swayed by the home fans, most of the times the referees failed to let the players do their job. When you are playing an away game against two of the best floppers in the game (D. Fisher and R. Artest), you know that you are in trouble. During their last two games, that was the Celtics’ exact position. They were forced to defend the purple team while avoiding to brush against either one of the players from the opposing in order not to be called for a foul (or even being in the receiving end of a Technical foul).

At the end of season, the Celtics did what they were supposed to do: play basketball. Although they fail to light a cigar, they continue to give us reason to keep rooting for them. They show heart with the way they play. For a team that was supposed to lose in the semifinals, they did really well in our eyes.

As much as losing in the Finals hurt, it will not be long until we start celebrating again. This time for another local team, playing another sports. I am speaking about our own Boston Red Sox. They did not start the season well, but the Celtics’ success help buying them time. Now that the Celtics’ season is over, they recognize that the spotlight is on them. They will not fail us. They never did. This is why we, Boston Fans, are sports most spoiled fans. We got great teams, even though they don’t win championships every year, they always play with heart.

Until next time, have a great summer.

Ken Joseney

There are millions of single guys in the world, all with very different values and outlooks on life, but the type that I always gravitate to the most is the “Dude.” Now I know they aren’t as pretty as the pumped-up gym rat, but really, how many times can I discuss high-intensity interval training? It gets old real fast. Plus they use up all my hair product and never replace it.

Oh, and those “good provider” types that I know I SHOULD be dating…been there, tried it, and it never works. I just believe there is more to life than sitting on a couch night after night glued to a TV. Plus, quite honesty, I say the word “fuck” on occasion (OK, maybe more than on occasion) and the good providers will just give me that judgmental look - you know, that raised eyebrow, disapproving look - whenever I say it. I’ve tried using the words “darn” and “fudge” instead, but sooner or later, and it’s usually sooner, a “fuck” is just gonna come rolling out. In the end, these types end up telling me how wild and crazy I am. In return, I’ll tell them what boring fuckers they are. Oops! There goes that word again!

So what is a “Dude” exactly? Made widely popular by the 1998 film, “The Big Lebowski,” dudeness isn’t as much a particular look as it is a way of life. In particular, I’ve discovered that they typically share several key characteristics:

• They have a large circle of guy friends that they regularly hang with and they typically all call each other “Dude,” “El Duderino,” or something along those lines.

• They either play on an organized sports team and/or seriously involved in some other type of sports activity.

• They believe the band “Tool” rules and long for its return.

• They think that Les Claypool from Primus is the best bassist EVA and will tell you this little tidbit of information…repeatedly.

• They watch Ultimate Fight Club and will organize whole evenings around it.

• Their clothing usually consists of jeans and tshirts, and on occasion, the backwards turned baseball hat. Note that this aforementioned clothing does not necessarily need to be clean – it just needs to pass the smell test.

• Like me, they also appreciate the word fuck and use it regularly.

• When they get drunk, which they do on a somewhat regular basis, they will do some crazy stuff, like take off their clothes and run around the house naked.

• When their friend passes out drunk, which they do on a somewhat regular basis, a Dude will usually shave their friend’s eyebrows off, paint stuff all over his face, or do something else to screw with him.

• They typically lack good organizational skills, unless it comes to the organization of some type of Dude activity.

• They live to have a good time and appreciate their freedom far more than their bank accounts.

Most importantly, Dudes have a very young spirit, which is what makes them so attractive to me. So what’s the problem with Dudes you ask? Well, again, they have a very young spirit, as in they have never really grown up, which oftentimes leads to commitment issues, financial problems, and things of that nature.

So let’s talk about my latest Dude. For lack of a better nickname, we will just call him Golf Dude. I had met my friend Rose for dinner in Providence and we decided to hit a local bar afterwards. I was just sitting there and in he walked. Typical to all Dudes, he was just so much fun to be around and I felt myself getting sucked into the vortex. Fast forward several months to the first time I see his place…the poster child of true Dude living (see picture). There was the picture of Elvis hanging on the wall right behind the giant net set up in the living room to catch golf balls, a collection of hundreds of live concert DVDs, and of course, a giant TV and incredible sound system. Beyond the mere Dudeness of his possessions, the place looked like you would need to go through it with 10 large garbage bags just to begin to make it somewhat presentable, never mind the piles of clothes, shoes, etc. thrown everywhere. As I stood there in shock, laughing at the sheer madness of it all, he popped in a Bad Company DVD and began dancing around. Was this all déjà vu, or could it be that I had seen many a Dude drunkenly dance around their cluttered living rooms? And why was it that I felt so strangely at home in this crazy environment?

As I joined him in a very poor sing along to Alice in Chains, I couldn’t help but wonder if in many ways I wasn’t a “Dudette.” Alas, a very organized and responsible Dudette, but a Dudette all the same. Maybe the truth is that I haven’t quite grown up myself yet…and given that I’m almost 44 now, I don’t know if that is ever going to change.

So this month’s question is, do you consider yourself to be a Dude? Or a Dudette? And do you think a Dude and Dudette can ever find true happiness together?

This is not a review of the Sex and The City movie 2.   I went to see the movie with couple girlfriends and felt compelled to write about it.

First, let me say that I love everything Sex and The City and have watched it religiously.   The character whom I feel closest to is Carrie (not because she's the main character).  Carrie and I have a lot in common, for example, I have my own Mr. Big.

To get back to the movie, I was not at all disappointed.  I laughed a lot and felt all the emotions in the movie.  Samantha is so outrageous that I long for a friend like her.  Miranda, surprised me by being more laid back and much more fun than ever before.  And Charlotte, got what she wanted, motherhood.

The fashion in SATC2 was fun, sexy, flirty and unpredictable.  I had a few shoergasms in my seat at the theatre because the shoes were calling my name.

If I were a movie critic, I'd give SATC2 two thumbs up.

There I was, single and at the freak show that is Vincent’s Nightclub in Randolph on an ordinary Saturday night, fully confident that I was not going to meet anyone even halfway worthwhile. Now it’s not that I hate this place – I honestly don’t. It’s a great place to go just to have fun with your friends, dance, and do some VERY serious people watching. I know of no other place where you can find a 50-year-old woman dressed in a half shirt and mini skirt standing alongside a guy sporting a head full of jerry curls and a velour shirt.

I was standing at the bar with Dawn when I turned around and he caught my eye. He was very tall with dark hair, huge brown eyes, and an extremely well-developed hockey butt. His name was Paul and he was just adorable. He told me he owned a health food and supplement store in a neighboring town and, as evidenced by his ability to crack walnuts between his butt cheeks, that he was very into health and fitness. He also told me he was 39 and owned a home in Dedham. So let’s summarize the situation here. Responsible – check! Common interests – check! Right age – check! Seriously smoking hot – double check!

We started dating and it was just great, but I did start to notice he was a BIT quirky. For example, on our first date he was wearing the same black dress shirt and black pants as when I met him. OK, no big deal. But then he wore the same thing on our second date, and our third, and our fourth… Basically the dude walked around dressed like a waiter. So of course I had to ask, “Do you own any other clothes”? He replied, “I also own two pairs of jeans, a couple of black t-shirts and a sweater, plus my gym clothes. It’s wasteful to own too much clothing.”

In keeping with his clothing is wasteful thinking, he didn’t wear any underwear, which is fine with me given that I’m normally commando myself, but one of his two pairs of jeans had a massive hole in the crotch. I asked him if MAYBE he thought he should buy a new pair of jeans or at least fix the hole and he said “Nah, no one notices anyhow.” You would think he would get a little cold with the wind blowing up around there but apparently this was not a concern. Still, he certainly looked ridiculously fantastic naked, so I decided I could get over it and we quickly settled into a little dating routine.

He would close down the store on weekend nights, put on the waiter outfit, and we would go out to eat somewhere nice. After that we would go back to my place, cuddle and watch TV, and he would leave in the morning and go directly to the store wearing his black t-shirt and crotch-less jeans. We would repeat this pattern over and over again every weekend.

So, after a couple of months, I finally had to ask him, “Why don’t we ever go to your house”? “Oh,” he said, “it’s really messy plus I don’t want you to be bothered with driving.” OK, figured I would let that slide along with the quirky clothes thing. Then another month passed by... so I asked again, “Gee, maybe we should go to your house this weekend.” “Nah, it’s still a mess,” he said.

It was at this point that I decided I had to do a little bit of detective work. I used a very high-tech investigative tool for this purpose. Now everyone pay attention here and write this down because I’m sure none of you have heard of this fascinating website before. It’s called GOOGLE. So I Google the guy and the first thing that pops up is that he really isn’t 39. No, he’s 45! Now I could understand if he was 54 and was afraid of me thinking he was too old for me, but I ask you all, what exactly is the purpose of him lying and saying he is YOUNGER than me by several years?? Next, I find an address for him and it’s the same as his parents. I confront him about these things, going so far as to tell him, “I’m giving you a get out of jail free card. Just tell me the truth.” Still, he continued to insist he was 39, owned a home in Dedham, and this “Google or whatever you call it” was wrong.

So I consult with Dawn on the matter and she suggested another highly sophisticated investigate method. Dawn plugged the parents’ address into a device called a GPS. This amazing little thing directs us and before very long we were slowly cruising by the house around midnight. As expected, his SUV was parked in the driveway and all the lights in the house were off, so one would assume everyone was inside sleeping. I again ask him, “Are you sure you don’t live with your parents and that you aren’t 45”? “Well, maybe I’m 45. But I really live by myself.” I told him I knew he was lying but he insisted that I was wrong. A little after that I got a text message from him “Joanne, I can’t date you anymore.” I tried to confront him on it, but he wouldn’t pick up the phone, answer any emails, etc. I never knew if he was really ashamed by his lies or if he had just stumbled upon the pictures from my most recent Cancun vacation. Hey, what can I say, tequila makes you do some crazy stuff!

Being middle-aged and divorced, the idea that someone approximately my own age could be a cellar dweller didn’t even occur to me initially. Unfortunately, I have now discovered this is a very common occurrence. When confronted, cellar dwellers will typically respond that they live with their parents because “they are older and need my help,” instead of the truth, which is usually “I’m lazy and my Mom makes a great meatloaf.”

As a result of that experience, I typically Google every guy I date right away just to verify that they truly are not a cellar dweller. Now I want to know…do you Google every person you are interested in dating, or do you just trust them initially until they raise a warning flag?

By Joanne Giannini

Every year an approaching spring forces hibernating couples out searching for ways to escape cabin fever while crowds of singles flock bars and nightclubs in search of spring fever. Whether in a relationship or just starting out there are certain gestures coming from that certain someone, that remind us of what falling in love and staying there is all about. With so many different perspectives over what is actually romantic, how do we decipher between romantic gestures and major turn offs? When it comes to romance, what are the guidelines?

I thought I had escaped the pressures of spring fever this year until a predicted one night stand turned into a perfect two day date. Six weeks and several dates later, I began to think “Bad Luck Bobby” had finally dodge the bullet when it came to bad love. Then just like that, excitement and spontaneity had faded just as quickly as Lindsay Lohan’s career and ironically enough late nights, hotel rooms and booze also played a major role. Even so, after being informed that his extended vacation had come to an end and he needed to flee the states a long flight away, I couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Accepting our fate, I moved on quicker than he came (and left of course), and with the blink of eye I had my eye on a new prospect.

Across town talk of moving forward by moving in had Mason eyeing a way out. Mason and Maddy had been serious for a while and Maddy was seriously harping on moving in. Unfortunately Mason’s fear of commitment and lack of affection had resulted in an unwillingness to discuss their future together and at the same time driving them apart. Their romance was dying and Mason figured the only way to save their relationship was to provide evidence that the two had some sort of future without actually going anywhere. So one night Mason invited Maddy over for dinner and just when things were beginning to feel tense, Mason pointed towards the bedroom. Appalled that sex was being used as a scapegoat, Maddy quickly became erratic, until a quick glance at the bedroom changed everything. There in the corner, was a brand new, mahogany bureau, garnished with Maddy’s favorite flowers, tea lights and a framed picture of the two of them. Although he wasn’t quite ready for a relationship roommate, Mason used romance to fix his relationship by showing someday he would be.

The next night I invited some friends to witness some controlled dramatics for once. I had accepted a lead role in the musical RENT, which fortunately led to a few dates with my eyeing prospect. Following my performance, I marched out to greet my guests and accept their praises for a job well done, when all of a sudden to my surprise, I was greeted by a surprised guest. My faded fling, who disappeared a month ago, had returned and this time for good. His romantic side had persuaded to him to hunt me down and show up unannounced. Unfortunately all it did was freak me out. No calls or contact of any sort for over a month had me completely over whatever it was we had. I had moved on, so I uncomfortable explained this while my newest prospect greeted friends behind us. That night, while out for drinks with a new prospect and cast of RENT, I bought into the idea that my situation could have been extremely romantic had it been coming from the right person. When it comes to romance sometimes, the smallest things sweep us off our feet while the most extravagant ones send us running away because in reality it’s not so much the gesture, but rather the person it coming from.

By Bobby Carr

It’s end of March; basketball fans around the US recognize this by two words: March Madness. So far this year, it has been March Upset. The Committee has done as good of a job as the Celtics did when they played the lowly Memphis Grizzlies early this March. Heavyweights such as Kansas, Georgetown, Texas, and Villanova lost to lower-ranked teams within the first two rounds causing brackets everywhere to go into chaos. With the way the tourney has started, it is safe to say that Kentucky has a tremendous chance at making it into the Final Four.

Speaking of basketball, the ballers of the NBA will be sure to take their game to the next level starting this April 18 when the Playoffs start. Our own Boston Celtics will be right in the middle of the fight. With their dedication level lately and hustle play, do not count on them to go too far. If you do not believe me, I got 2011 NFL Championship game tickets for you between the Detroit Lions and Cleveland Browns. Meanwhile, another Cleveland team is doing all it can to make to a championship game. Even with the Big Shaq-tus not being a factor, look for Lebron James and crew to shot down the Lakers when the calendar hits June for the right to be called a CHAMPION.

Go Kentucky! Go Cavaliers! Go Basketball!

Until the next time, enjoy Spring!

The Sports Nut

Ken Joseney

Marie Stuart Noel, the publisher of Massachusetts’ Singles Magazine (MSM), is pleased to announce that starting this March MSM’s schedule will shift from monthly to quarterly.  Noel states “This decision comes about when I realized the amount of paper we use to print the magazine each month is quite a lot. I want the magazine to still remain a print publication which is why printing it only four times a year is ideal.”  MSM will still maintain a strong online presence through blogging, online contests, social media and much more.

MSM plans to bring better quality content, graphics and more pages to the new quarterly issue. MSM will be distributed four times a year, on a seasonal schedule starting March 21, 2010.

I was spending yet another Friday night at one of Quincy’s many bars with my friend Dawn. The crowd is very laid back and quiet this particular night, when out of seemingly nowhere, in walks this extremely hot guy. Now, this guy isn’t JUST hot. No, no, no…I’m talking about an “ouch, don’t touch him because he’s on fire,” kinda smoking hot here! He’s around 6’2”, very muscular, chiseled features, with eyes that could melt you away. Next thing I know, he walks right across the bar and up to me. Hello!!

Dawn and I were meeting our friends Carla and Jen at Scarsfield’s around 11:00 p.m., another one of Quincy’s finest bars well known for its cheap alcohol and pungent smell of old beer and urine. So I ask Mr. Smoking Hot Guy if he would like to go too, and he appears to be thrilled, and off we go to Scarsfield’s. We spend much time talking, I am happy to discover that we have a great deal in common. We are both recently divorced, the same age, into fitness, etc.

However, after talking with him a bit more, I ALSO learned that he is in Quincy tonight because he was across the street at some sort of self-improvement seminar. It appears that he walked out in the middle of the session. Interesting… Then, right in the middle of our conversation, this little woman walks in and tells him he has to leave. Hmmm, this all seemed just a wee bit odd! He now tells me that participants of this self-help seminar are not allowed to drink or socialize outside the group. Again, all this is very, very strange. In fact, even in light of his obvious hotness, this was too weird even for me!

So, Sunday night he calls me and I tell him I don’t think it’s a good idea if we date given our distance (he lived an hour and half away), although the real issue is that I think there is something just off about him. Fast forward about six months. He sees my profile on Match.com and calls me. He tells me we are an 80% match. He also tells me that he was just voted as one of his city’s Most Eligible Bachelors. Well, if a whole city thinks he is worthy, maybe it is worth me taking a second look! After all, he is sooo smokin’ hot! So, we begin to date and it’s good - really good if you know what I mean. In fact, I’m beginning to fall for the guy in a big way.

And then he pulls a disappearing act! POOF! Vanished! Until, that is, I get a text message. It said, “Im so intense I sometimes scare myself! And NOTHING scares me. I go 2 hell & fck the devil & spit in his face!” Mind you, I get this message at around 2:30 a.m. on a Friday night. OK, I think, maybe it’s all just a metaphor of some type! So…I leave him a couple of phone and text messages and no response. That is until Sunday night around 1:00 a.m., when I hear my phone buzzing and there is yet another text message from him. This one said, “The devil is a coward! Is afraid of me! I will knock him out.”

WHOA…What is that all about? I mean really, the DEVIL? Are you all catching this? The guy is going to knock out Satan!! So, there can only be two explanations: (1) that he is certifiably crazy, or (2) he wants me to believe he is certifiably crazy. Either way, not good! Again, I try calling him and no response.

The lesson learned here is to always trust your initial instincts. If someone initially seems like a Devil F**cker, well, they probably are! So what do you all think? Is the DF really crazy or does he just act crazy when it’s convenient to get out of relationships?

Valentine's Day Offer*

In honor of Valentine's Day month, MSM is offering all MSM fans a free print copy of the magazine for a whole year. Sign up today!

*Valentine's Day Offer valid until March 1, 2010. Allow six to eight week fo delivery of the first issue.

Get the look of our cover girl this month with Revlon Fantasy Length Eyelashes. Michelle, MSM's February feature wears the Revlon Fantasy Length Eyelashes Blue Shadow. The fantasy length eyelashes adhesive dries quickly and looks amazing. 

MSM is giving away pairs of Revlon Fantasy Length Fake Eyelashes and Revlon Runway Collection 24 Nails.

The winner will receive:

Three pairs of eyelashes with eyeslashes adhesive. The styles are minx, flirty  and defining.

Two pairs of self-adhesive eyelashes. The styles are defining and intensifying.

And, one box of Revlon Runway Collection with 24 medium length nails.

To enter the giveaway, leave a comment here including your name and e-mail address. The giveaway ends on April 1, 2010 and is open to everyone. One winner will be drawn randomly and contacted via e-mail. Good luck to all!

There comes a point in every single twenty or thirty-something’s life when we take a step back and ask ourselves whether we have aged out of certain activity, style or even profession. If we hit 30, is it too late to rethink our job and relocate? At 25, is it time to stop clubbing and transition to a sensible martini bar? And, at 35, if we still have not successfully had a significant relationship; is it time to seek professional help? With all of this in mind, I began to wonder, is age really just a number or a societal reminder to hurry up and move on to next phase in our lives.

Very recently my good friend Mark’s free spirited, persuasive persona had me out and about on random Thursday night. Feeling I was passed the club scene, I began to knock the “thump…thump” setting in hopes to transition to a more appropriate social hot spot. Determined to try something new Mark, peer pressured his way through a very expensive night of overpriced drinks and crowds of sweaty ravers and overly sassy drag queens. I immediately felt out of place, until out of nowhere, I found myself grinding on the dance floor with a corona and cute and toned club-goer.

That same night, several blocks away, Annie found herself in a similar situation. She and Salina had been dating for over a year and although they continued to grow closer, Annie began to feel the pressures of age difference tear her apart. Being almost ten years her elder, Annie found herself in a very awkward situation when Salina’s big birthday night approached. Annie planned everything out, but felt more like of a chaperone than a member of the crew. Everything hit the fan, when uncomfortable notions caused her to over drink and overreact to a comment that was made, by a friend, about Salina’s good looks. After a very noticeable outburst that silenced the bar, Annie was the center of attention, in an embarrassing situation that involved an underage lesbian telling her to grow up. It was right then and there that Annie realized she needed to stop allowing her issues with age get in the way of her acting like a mature adult.

Later that night, I also put my late twenty something year old foot in my overly paranoid mouth. After spending most of the night with my toned interest, I began to anticipate the uncomfortable question approaching of how old I was. So, just like that I awkwardly blurted it out. I immediately followed with a statement of how embarrassed I was for being 28 in a club that catered to those that 21. He then informed me that he was 33. He took off to get a drink and unsurprisingly never returned. On the way back to Mark’s apartment that night I suddenly realized that we are our own worst enemy when it comes to age. Ironically enough, when we obsess over age appropriateness, we somehow end up appearing immature and insecure.

Typically in the dating world, tricks and traps help us realize that finding love may be the end result in a game of overly dramatic experiences. But does it really have to be that complicated? When it comes to finding love and companionship, are the games really all that necessary?

As the New Year approached, I spent some time pondering over the different vices I would attempt to give up. I had quit smoking, my debt had lessened and I had rebuilt some burned bridges broken down by prior ignorance, but something wasn’t quite right. For someone with a natural competitive nature, I was losing terribly at the game of love. Luckily, my current character building was stellar and my exuding confidence and ability to attract and conquer had me hitting free parking almost every time I went around the block. Then one night, I came across a very attractive unexpected player. Before I knew it, I had made a pass, given the go ahead and collect 10 digits. infatuated and intrigued, I was unaware of the many obstacles that lay ahead.

That same night, my good friend was involved in some unwanted games himself. Kyle and Mason had been coworkers for two years and dating for one. They were the perfect team aside from Mason’s inability to open up about their relationship. One on one he was sensitive and caring, but out in the open he nothing of the sort. Then one night, while the two were heading to a business dinner with some coworkers, Kyle was pushed to the limit, literally. Two blocks away from their destination, Kyle was entertaining the group with flamboyant impersonations, when a homeless man turned the corner, out of nowhere shoved him to the ground and continued walking. Shocked and embarrassed, his only comfort was that Mason would be his rescue, but it didn’t happen. Instead he picked himself up while Mason watched with concern in the background.

Two hours into the dinner, the two had barely spoken and Mason overheard the company secretary attempting to set Kyle up on a date. Fed up with his own games and insensitivity, Mason marched over, put his arm around Kyle and blurted out their relationship status. Unfortunately, at that same moment the place went silent for a holiday toast. Needless to say, the toast began with a sarcastic congratulations to the couple and ended with a slightly embarrassed pair with a newly mended relationship.

Over a week later and my unexpected player and I had made little progress. Playing games back and forth through witty text messages and purposefully missed calls, we had created a potential loss on both our parts. When I finally came to my senses and set up date, I was stricken with a head cold. When he finally came to his and rescheduled, he struck his head in a car accident and ended up in the emergency room. Then, finally as sickness and bruises faded a decision to make a move had us on a more than perfect date. Things couldn’t have been going more smoothly until my unexpected player made an unexpected announcement. Talk of returning to Europe for the next six months, had me wondering what all of the effort was for. Then it hit me; no games. We hit it off, we were on a date, and had no expectations for the future, just a see what happens attitude. In the end foolish games had almost cost me a truly fabulous dating experience. On the way home I realized; when it comes to dating and relationships playing games can only create poorly built characters lacking the understanding and truth behind the possession of true companionship.

After writing the final chapter to an existing relationship we tend to cut all ties and go our separate ways. As time heals we move on and slight regret turns to complete forget. Then every often an unexpected encounter leaves us reconnected with our past, and our finished story begins to take on an alternate ending. With this thought in mind, I began to question the “second chance”. When it comes to closed relationships that have been reopened, do results lean more towards a happy ending or a tragic reminder of why the relationship ended in the first place?

It had been six years since our initial introduction to one another and my relationship with the successful banker from Boston had gone from acquaintance, to seducer, to just friends. Introduced through a good friend, our story began with excitingly scandalous dramatics and ended with an unwillingness to change in our previously set stances. Our incompatibility when it came to certain positions, politically and otherwise, had the production of our passionate novel come to an immediate close. Debating whether I should taken one for the team and compromise by not, I stuck to my decision to move on and settle for a friendship. Then six years later, standing in front of me at the ATM in one of my favorite Boston bars, was the banker from Boston. We had both ventured to the same place to meet up with the same people and before I knew it mixed drinks and loud music had us reminiscing and second guessing our prior unwillingness to alter who we were to get something we both wanted.

Cities and towns away, my friend Myra was creating a second chance story of her own. Her first major crush, Buddy Stevens, was a handsome redhead who had always been there for her. Unfortunately, his rescue usually occurred with another woman in the background. When she finally got up the nerve to tell her prince how she felt, he refused to listen. Buddy, who was attending the University of California, was neglecting to return Myra’s many calls. She accepted her tragedy and moved on. Then many years later, while Myra leaned over the bar to order a Budlite, Buddy lightly pressed down on her shoulders to intercept and buy her a beer. He had returned from CA, not on a white horse, but in a blue Bronco with a relationship that was in shambles. His flirty antics of hand fed cherries and numerous comments of disappointment that they never got together, suggested Myra’s fantasies were about to come true. Buddy’s talk of soul mates and his current failed relationship had Myra kissing him good night and then good morning. Unfortunately, two nights later at the same bar, Myra witnessed Buddy feeding the same moves (a cherry and a mention of soul mates) to a busty blonde. Coming to the realization that her prince charming was actually prince cheating in his rocky relationship, she walked over and behind, slightly pushed down on his shoulders and ordered him a redheaded slut.

So later that night, in a fading crowd at a fabulous bar, I found myself once again engaged in flirtatious conversation with a person that had already romantically faded out of my life. Still somewhat apprehensive I began to ask myself; if we were not compatible before, why would we be now? Shoving preconceived notions aside I decided to give into temptation and give it a second chance. I figured, when it came to relationships there would always be times in which we felt something may not work out even if we already tried it once before. With that said, when it comes to writing the plot to our own personal story, it is extremely important to take chances, otherwise we end up with a very boring “what if” ending.

It’s that magical time of year again when women drive themselves crazy over Valentine’s Day. Yes I say women because we all know that it is us ladies that obsess over Valentine’s Day. Well this year, I say no more. This year I ask all the ladies, both in relationships and all the single ladies to say no to Valentine’s Day.

Here is a little background on Valentine’s Day. It was originally a Saint’s Day dedicated to several Saints that held the name Valentine or Valentinus as it was known in ancient Rome. These Saint’s were all brutally martyred for their Christian beliefs. The most well-known Valentine lived in the time of Emperor Claudius the second, in ancient Rome. He was caught marrying a Christian couple which at the time was not permitted. He was held captive and finally sentenced to death, and was beaten with large stones and clubs. When that failed to do him in the Emperor finally had him beheaded and he was buried on February 14th, and that is the day we celebrate love. I suppose you can sort of call that romantic but I don’t want to get candy and flowers on the day that someone was unjustly murdered.

If the historical factor doesn’t turn you off then all one has to do is look around at the commercialization of the holiday, it’s enough to make you sick. I know what you’re thinking I am a cynic but that is not the case at all. I love love. I truly believe that it is one of the most powerful forces on this earth; I just don’t believe that it should be capitalized on. Every year men and women are told to buy, buy, buy, in order to show their significant other how much they really care. Eventually it becomes a contest of who can out do whom. What’s worse is the real damage it can do to a relationship or to a single individual. If you’re single on this day or without a date not only do you feel left out but society looks down on you for it. Not to mention all the other people that are in relationships going on and on about their plans for Valentine’s Day or the gift their significant others bought for them. When the conversation turns to you, you have to say something like “oh I don’t have any plans I just may head home early and curl up with a good book”. It’s almost seems like it’s meant to be humiliating for single people. On the flip side for people in relationships they are stuck with the dilemma of figuring out what to get their partner. I don’t think I have to tell you about the endless arguments that can occur over this subject. Men and women are forced to accept and possibly pretend to like the tacky little gift their spouses picked for them. Or they are forced to spend hundreds of dollars on big ticket items such as jewelry or vacations for their loved ones, it hardly seems fair.

If you really want to celebrate your love then here is my advice. Celebrate it every day. Show the person how much you care by doing little things for them all year around. Bring home flowers for no particular reason; surprise your spouse with their favorite meal during a regular weeknight, or take an interest in one of their hobbies. Love is something that is special and should not be taken for granted or exploited. So stand up for love and say NO to Valentine’s Day!

As the first decade of the new millennium comes to a close we should take a few moments to stop and reflect on the things we have done. A new year is not only for making resolutions but also to take a breath and enjoy whatever success or experiences you have had. The best way to truly make a fresh start is to wipe the slate clean and really allow yourself a new beginning.

With this new beginning we have a rare opportunity to take a step back, to clear our minds and to reevaluate our goals and our lives. Take a moment to really think about what you want from this New Year. We have all seen Bridget Jones’s Diary, is there a particular type of man that you know is bad for you. Do you always go for the bad boy and get your heart broken? Do you always go with the safe squeaky clean man and discover you’re bored out of your mind? Maybe this is the time to really step out of your comfort zone and try something new.

It really is the little things that count. Maybe you want to be more environmentally friendly but you don’t have hours to sort out all of your trash for recycling. Or you don’t have the budget to go totally organic, it’s all right to start with something small. For instance instead of using plastic bags at the grocery store buy reusable canvas bags to lug your groceries. Or instead of using a styrofoam cup for your coffee ask for a paper one instead, not only are they biodegradable but most paper cups are made from recycled materials. Every little bit counts and can make a big difference.

What about that diet every woman vows to go on for the New Year? Do you find that it’s really easy to start and to maintain for a few weeks and then you lose your motivation? You promise yourself you’ll start fresh; you will eat right and go to the gym every day. Then of course every day turns into every other day and before you know it you’re too busy to make it to the gym and you eating take out because you don’t have time to cook! That is what happens to all of us so don’t get discouraged. Small steps are easier to maintain and to build on. Take a twenty minute walk every day either before or after work, or go for a quick jog around the block before dinner. Remember if you start small you’ll have a greater chance at success! Most good meals are easy to make, and only take about thirty minutes to make. If you go online or to your local book shop you will find a fantastic selection of cook books that have lots of smart and fast meal choices.

So remember ladies, as this New Year approaches all of your goals are within your reach. Dieting, dating, or even making a conscious choice to be more environmentally savvy, whatever your goal is, it’s all up to you. Don’t get discouraged and don’t stop. Pushing forward even when you think you can’t go on is the only way to make real progress.

In this modern day and age it can be almost impossible to balance love and a successful career. Some people mostly woman, believe that you can have it all love, career and a family but I have found that in most cases this not true. In fact when woman hold themselves to this impossible ideal they tend to self destruct. So for now were going to take having a family out of the equation and just discuss balancing love and work.

Being in love and having a successful career are much the same thing. Both take up almost all of your time, dedication, and focus. You need to be brilliant in both facets and still maintain a sense of self which of course can be quite tricky. In the end for most people one area inevitably suffers so much that it all goes to hell, but there are some ways to avoid this disaster. The very first thing you have to do is evaluate yourself. Be honest and think back on your past. Are you a workaholic or are you obsessed with your relationships? If you are truly honest with yourself you will see a discrepancy in one of these areas, and if you’re not sure ask a very close friend.

The next step to take, now that you have identified your problem area is to make a list of all your past mistakes. Do you stay late at the office almost every night, do you take on extra projects that leave you so little time that is hard to find time to work, sleep and eat, never mind leaving time for a lover? Do you ditch work more than twice a week so you can spend time with a lover even though you’re on a deadline? Do you goof off at work wasting time day dreaming about your lover? All these actions can be destructive and unproductive. The important thing to remember is that life is all about balance and these two areas of your life are no different. Both need to be evaluated and decisions regarding both areas need to be made.

Some solutions can be quite easy. If you’re spending too much time in the office then it may be a good idea to cut down on your work load. Whether it’s cutting down on your overtime or telling your boss that you’re working to your full capacity: it’s important to make sure that you’re spending enough time with your loved one. On the flip side if your spending a little too much time ditching work or doing nothing but spending all your free time with your lover maybe you should give yourself some space. It’s always good to have a little free time to yourself to relax and unwind and just be yourself. No matter how much you love someone you will always need some time just to yourself. Other problems can be much more difficult. If you feel that you can’t spend any less time at work and it actually keeps you up at night thinking about how much more you could be doing or you’re going for a goal that you have always wanted, then maybe you need to reevaluate your life. It’s ok to realize that perhaps you’re not ready for a real relationship and just want to focus on your career, as long as you’re honest with yourself. Now what if you’re in love? What if you want to be with this person for the rest of your life, maybe start a family? If that is how you feel that’s ok too. As long as your sure that is what you want and you have talked to your partner, then it’s ok to take some time off work. Plan your future with this person and then when you’re ready look at your situation again and then make a new decision.

What most people are looking for is a happy and fulfilling life. For most of us that means trying to juggle having a life and having a career. It’s not an easy task one that most people at first fail miserably at. That’s why it’s important to keep at it and to learn from past mistakes. If you can take all of your experience and really make an effort to keep things balanced, then eventually things will just fall into place.

Back in 2001, I remember watching an NFL-related show when a comedian said “The country is in a very patriotic state right now, the NE Patriots needs to go ahead and win the Super Bowl.” As a New England sports fan, I was happy to hear that. The New England Patriots shocked the football stars by defeating the St Louis Rams 20-17 that same year. Why am I reminding you of this?

I can never compare being a New England sports fan with being supportive of a rival team, but this one is different. Similar to Jamie Foxx’s “Blame it,” I will blame it on Natural Disaster when I tell you that the Colts have what it takes to be crowned as the 44th NFL Champion. The New Orleans Saints are a great team from the NFC. They got an improved defense that intercepted Bret Favre when it counted the most during the NFC Championship game; throughout most of the season, they did not disappoint with their offense averaging more than 31 points a game (compared to 26 by the Colts).

Meanwhile, the Colts enjoy a slight advantage on defense allowing about 19 points per game to the Saints’ 21. These stats will not tell you how the

game will end on February 7th, but one thing will. This season, the Colts have not lost a game where they put forth the effort necessary to win. They will rally behind one of their own, Pierre Garçon, whose family is suffering from the effects of a 7.0 earthquake that struck Haiti on January 12, 2010.

The Patriots delivered when America needed the most, the Colts and Pierre Garçon need to deliver to continue to bring more awareness to those devastated by the earthquake. This is one of the many reasons why the Indianapolis Colts will win.

-Ken Joseney